Wonsan, Pangilan — According to a new study published by the Journal of Mampulan Anthropological Research, humans love dogs a little too much.
"Enamored by the cuteness of the furry creatures, humans dedicated an average of about 84% of their income to buying toys and pillows for the dogs," said Orden Malloy, one of the co-authors of the study. She confirmed that prior to the domestication of dogs, humans were able to afford rent.
"Back then, early humans would hunt for their food for their landlord. However, before handing over their kill, they would give some of that to the curious scavengers nosing around their camp."
In the modern world, the average Mampulan dog owner spends on food, toys, medical care and more, and some people would be prepared to pay a much higher price, even when rent is on the line.
Airline companies took notice of this, charging about 250% more for a plane seat than an average human seat price. This caused a lot of backlash from many dog lovers because they claimed that their dogs are gods and that the airlines should charge them 500% of the price instead.
Bailey Woston, a German Shepherd, loves this relationship.
“Why get a boring dog food in a can when you can have Wagyu steaks every day? I would wave it around near the forest for the wolves to see. Wodronolinus would be jealous!”
He added that he would not want his life to be any other way.
“I'm jealous,” said Wodronolinus the Wolf.